After some recent relational wounds, I decided to dedicate my next block of ketamine therapy to the root of it all.
Let’s just say this:
Ketamine remembers EVERYTHING.
I’ve seen this before.
Once, I had a session in November that painted my mind like a timeline:
Orange for Halloween and Thanksgiving
Red for Christmas
It took me all the way back to my aunt’s house — the place I stayed when my dad was in a coma for a month and eventually passed away in October–November 2002.
The medicine doesn’t forget.
It stores the seasons, the colors, the feeling of loss.
And now, with the 4th of July coming — and fireworks just outside my work —
ketamine used that too.
This time, the fireworks weren’t outside.
They were inside me.
A heartbreak lit the fuse.
It hurt — but it pushed me deeper into my healing.
I’m not hiding that.
️ This time my love launched like a rocket
I used to say that ketamine didn’t take me to the cosmos —
it took me home.
Back to Brazil.
Back to my roots.
But this session?
It was different.
It felt like a final surge — a powerful launch.
A reminder that my heart doesn’t need to stay small just because old patterns want it to.
It showed me every place I’ve ever felt truly seen:
Communities that lift me My training grounds My dreams for my Amazon journey My people — near and far
I went from feeling “outside the circle”
to realizing I’ve always owned my own space.
I’m not here to beg for belonging anymore.
I’m here to take up room — with my whole heart.
And the best part?
There was no bitterness in it.
No grudge.
Just gratitude for what was real — and clarity for what no longer needs my energy.
I felt my love rising — not staying parked behind.
Not as crumbs for anyone.
But as proof that I can stand soft and strong at the same time.
What the Rocket gave me
Back in January, I went in asking for abundance in school and my business.
I thought I’d see numbers, charts, logistics.
But instead, I saw myself showing kindness when the time comes to move on.
Be kind, even when you leave — that was the takeaway.
This session gave me the same gift:
“Don’t shrink your light for anyone.
Don’t scorch the earth either.
Launch it.
Expand it.
Leave behind the proof that your heart never needed to stay small.”
This is my Arena now
If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong — trust me, you do.
Maybe not in the places you kept trying to fit.
Maybe not with the people who couldn’t hold your biggest love.
But always in the space you claim for yourself.
You don’t need permission.
You don’t need perfect people.
You just need to stand in your truth and build your own circle — your own arena — with people who meet you there.
If you’re ready to look at your own patterns too — if you’re ready to let your love become a Rocket instead of staying stuck — you deserve healing that goes deep.
I get my treatments at Better U — they’ve helped me see my wounds and my wings.
If you’re ready to start, you can use my promo code NANDO84 at betterucare.com for $100 off your first ketamine package.
You deserve to stand in your Arena too.
Don’t park your light.
Launch it.
– Fernando
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