Lighting the Rocket Without Burning Down the Village

 I just had a really deep ketamine session which I don't remember anything from it.  

The night before I was crying watching the Oasis reunion of them playing Live Forever and the beautiful tribute to Diogo Jota at the end of the song.  The Gallagher brothers hugged on stage held hands, bowed bown to each other.  None of us Oasis fans ever dreamed of that reunion.  It was very clear this was way more than a cash grab.  The 12 year old in me cried.  

In my session, the messy and layered fallout came up again.  This was after my rocket session.  I mentioned it before how you make sure you don't scorch the earth while your rocket is launching.  And the rocket came up again in this conversation. 

I want to stand here — big, stadium-voice big — without turning my fire into a weapon.

So here’s what I know now:

• I can mourn what never was and still hope for what could be.
• I can forgive people who future-faked me, even if they never say sorry.
• I can hold the sweetness from people who do choose me — quietly — and not let my old fear chase them off. de
• I can be me — all of me — without shrinking or scorching.

The world is healing.
The brothers who swore they’d never speak again hugged on stage after sixteen years apart.
The songs still echo in stadiums long after the lights go down.
People live forever in how we choose to remember them — and how we choose to keep our own fire warm instead of burning bridges we might still want to cross someday.

If you see me lighting my rocket, remind me:
Keep it close enough to burn bright. Far enough not to burn down the village.

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